“A thoroughly socialized person is one who desires only the rewards that others around him have agreed he should long for— rewards often grafted onto genetically programmed desires.”-Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

While reading the book Flow and studying it, some parts really stood out to me. Stuck to me. This was one of those parts.
As we grow up in society we are taught to be part of society. Be a diligent citizen. But while being taught about this we are also taught about rewards within the society. Rewards that the society has agreed upon. But we never know if these rewards are the ones we should desire for ourselves. We never stop to think about what these desires mean to us. We are just going with the flow trying to be a part of society.
As I was scrolling to LinkedIn this part came back to me. Sometimes LinkedIn just looks sad. I don't use the platform but sometimes I get the odd notification and go in and scroll a bit. Seeing young people being enthusiastic about their futures knowing that the future corporate life and societal demands will suck the life out of them is sad. These young people who are going around stacking up achievements so that they can get their dream job and climb up societi’s ladder, I feel for them. All the achievements that they are proud of today someday might mean nothing. All the desires they have now are they the desires of the self or the desires that society wants them to have?
I have no problem with anyone who is in such a situation. If you believe this way of life can bring you fulfillment and help you live the life you want to live, then go for it. But I just hope before you go on this path you step back and question if what you are doing is what you really want to do. It’s really important to question. Don’t just fall into the system and be a part of the machine. You can question and while you have the time you should.

Going through the university system you think life is a competition. You are always trying to one-up your peers. Even on social media, it's all about signaling. Look at me I got this achievement, look at me I got that achievement. Look at me I am in this company, look at me I got promoted. It’s all signaling.

That is not a healthy way to live. It's really hard to sustain a lifestyle where appreciation from others is the basis of your self-confidence. This is true for a lot of people. The sad part is that majority of these people aren’t aware of the situation they are in. They keep on fuelling their egos while their soul remains unfulfilled.

This is not to belittle anyone or target anyone. In a way, it's me talking to me. I was also in this rats race. Wanting what society wanted me to want. Never stopping to think once about what I was really interested in. It’s really one of those moments of enlightenment when you start figuring things out.

Ever since I got out of this mindset I have lived a happier life. But you do need to go through this system just to know how bad it is. Some people realize it too late while others are lucky to know it earlier.