The curious case of Asian parenting

I am going to talk about two things I have observed among Asian parents regarding how they deal with the success of their children. I am pretty sure everyone knows about these things but it was just stuck in my head today, don’t know why. I am pretty sure there are explanations for these behaviors, so I am not looking for explanation, just observing.

The first observation is about the importance of money. No matter what you are pursuing, especially if it is a creative field, to an Asian parent it doesn’t matter much unless it’s bringing in money. I remember when I first started learning videography and video editing in 2016. My parents didn’t understand my fascination with videos. They showed no interest. But after a few years when I started getting freelance work and started making some money they were quite happy. They showed more interest. The creative pursuit I was doing became validated in their eyes. But I do some other creative things too, which they never ask about or show any interest.

The second observation is about the applause of society. No matter how good a job you are doing in life, unless you get society’s appreciation, an Asian parent isn’t likely to be happy or proud. Tell them how you turned things around in life, just a smile. Tell them how your name is in the papers, time to celebrate. Tell them some award you got, time to tell everyone. I am lucky because in this aspect my parents are really different. They are happy hearing about something simple about me running regularly and they are proud. Society’s appreciation did matter in the past. The more I shared with them my philosophy of simple life and the happiness I get from living intentionally, they slowly changed too.

This isn’t to target any parent out there. I am sure the parents of 90s kids had their reasons for this kind of thinking. I hope parents from my generation are different and learn from their parents.